Picture this: you're knee-deep in Botswana's scorching Kalahari, surrounded by lions that could snack on you, elephants in a bad mood, and tourists who think selfies with hyenas are a great idea. That's the daily grind for Peter Allison, and in Whatever You Do, Don't Run, he spills every outrageous, true story with the kind of wit that keeps you flipping pages late into the night.
Guiding safaris isn't glamorous—it's sweaty, unpredictable, and full of split-second decisions. Allison nails the chaos: the time a guest's hat sparks a baboon heist, or when a herd of buffalo decides your Land Rover looks tasty. But it's not just animals; the humans are the wild cards. Wealthy clients demand luxury amid the dust, forgetting that out here, nature doesn't care about your itinerary. Allison's got the scars (mostly metaphorical) to prove it, from corralling runners to improvising fixes when plans go sideways.
What sets this apart from your average travel yarn? Allison's voice—dry, self-deprecating, and brimming with respect for the bush. He doesn't glorify danger; he laughs at it, sharing hard-won lessons like why you freeze during a leopard stare-down or how a guide's calm voice can prevent panic. You'll feel the heat on your skin, hear the rustle of grass before a charge, and chuckle at tourists mistaking warthogs for pets. It's vivid, sensory stuff that pulls you right in.
Perfect for curling up on a rainy day or packing for your own trip, these essays answer every safari curious mind's questions: What's the scariest animal encounter? How do you manage diva guests? Do guides ever crack? (Spoiler: yes, hilariously.) At around 300 pages of pure escapism, it's the antidote to bland memoirs. Whether you're planning a Botswana adventure or just love wildlife tales with bite, Allison's expanded edition delivers fresh laughs and timeless wisdom. Grab it, read the intro, and you'll be hooked—just don't run to the store... walk briskly.
